So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
