i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
