you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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