When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
