I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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