i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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