like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
