look no pants
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
