Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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