Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
