he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
