The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
