i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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