Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
