No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
