so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
