I just cut my nipple shaving
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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