I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
