If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
