why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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