Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
