just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
