ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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