dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
