garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
