Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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