Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i think my cat just said my name.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
