Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
