I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
