just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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