Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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