Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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