he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
