found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
