I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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