he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
