Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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