Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The Olympian is in my bed
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
