I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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