well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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