On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
