Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
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