you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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