Are we in a gay sports bar?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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