So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
