My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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