she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize