ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
