It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You ate ashes out of my bong
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
