is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Randomize
